Nightmare In Haiku
I.
Stepping from stone to
Stone taking care not to fall
Into the dark filth.

II.
High screams pierce my head
As I try to concentrate
I knew the way out.

III.
Close my eyes so tight
Hot salt tears squeeze slowly out
I wait for the light.

IV.
Bright warmth that saves me
Keeps the child safe from harm
Makes it go away.

No, I Cried, Trust Me
My bedroom stinks.
Reeks of bad food and wet dog.
I don't have a dog.
The cats stay amazing dry.
My mom always said my room smelled.
Ten, twenty years later,
I admit she's right.
And I'm growing more convinced
That it's the part of me that died
Festering and rotting and
Stinking up the place.
Yes, I know she doesn't want me.
I caught her looking in my eyes once
And then I told her the truth.
No one can take me on.
I know I'm despicable and
Remain unchallenged.
But don't assume that just because
I nod my head in understanding,
That it doesn't hurt like hell
To be rejected again.
I need too much and want too little.

Not the Cleavers
Even if I could do something I'm not sure
I could figure out what
I've got you, so what, you can't
Make it go away.
I'm surprised you even try.
Every time I feel better, just good
Enough to cope they slam me again.
Attacked. . .
Not from all sides.
Just the ones that matter.
You've got such a handle on the whole
Betrayal scene.
I feel so lost still disbelieving that they
Could hurt me like this.
How could people hurt their own kind?
How could they just give up?
I'm not that bad, I'm pretty clean,
I'm almost sober.
Don't these things mean shit?
I just want you to love me and maybe
That's why they gave up: I'm irretrievably stupid.
No one wants a stupid kid.
They know, they've watched me you us ha ha.
They couldn't just hate you.
(Like I generally do) They have to hate me too.
My relationship with you has
Tarnished so many others.
Now it's finished, what I clung to with them.
But I say this like it's a bad thing and
Maybe it's not.