until
just until this pain goes away
i'll sit here thinking of anything else
just until this tightness loosens
i'll keep my eyes closely guarded,
just until the blow stops stinging
i'll remember who you are
i told you everything was wrong
everything you thought you knew
i told you it would take a lot,
but not what you were giving
just until the red leaves my vision
i think i'll just stay here, thanks
just until the disappointment fades
i will pretend not to see you
just until my face stops burning
i will wish we'd never "met"
and the scraps you bothered to throw me
will all be thrown aside then
and my faith will take back it's seat
leaving me alone and true

until it passes
it starts with feeling trapped
i look from side to side waiting for people to approach me to sneak up on me
i feel that i cannot get away
and then the tears build and hover at the edge
if someone were to speak
if someone were to look my way
they would fall, careening down my face
hot agonizing accusatory streams of saline
my heart freezes then and become a heavy weight in my chest
so my breathing becomes shallow
in desperation i start to breathe fast as my lungs constrict
fighting my body for some simple oxygen
my neck is the first to go numb and it is too late to flee
then my fingers lose sensation and the band around my chest gets another notch tighter
this is the point when my vision blurs and my judgement with it
all i know is the need to run and the inability to
my vision sparks with lack of air
and the tears take the plunge
my heart is pounding and my eyes start to dim and if i can't move fast
I will presently lose my chance to
Until it passes